What you choose to look at is all you are going to see. Are you choosing wisely?
“When all you look at is what you AREN’T doing, that’s all you’ll see.” –Coach Carrie
Are you overly focused on your shortcomings? Do you spend too much time dwelling on all the things you haven’t done? Your mind is like a magnet. Once you go down a certain line of thinking, your brain starts attracting other similar thoughts until sometimes, those thoughts are the only ones you can see– even though those aren’t the only ones that actually exist.
It’s important to take stock of your thoughts because whichever thoughts you’re buying into, are the ones creating your reality. This is important because not all thoughts are created equal. I’m sure you’ve noticed how thoughts sometimes just pop into your head out of pure habit. You hit traffic on the freeway, and you’re instantly filled with frustration, and everyone is a horrible driver. Your warmup feels “off”, and you immediately think you’re going to have a bad event. You make one mistake in a game, and you feel like a failure.
Thoughts you find yourself having over-and-over are often automatic thought patterns that have been strengthened to the point that they manifest in your mind before you’ve even made a conscious decision on how you really feel about the situation.
When you get overly focused on all the things you’re NOT doing, you have to stop:
- Stop being so hard on yourself.
- Stop beating yourself up.
- Stop thinking you should be better already.
- Stop thinking you’re not doing enough.
- Stop choosing to only look at the things you feel like you aren’t doing.
And then, you have to start:
- Start talking yourself up.
- Start honoring your strengths.
- Start giving yourself credit.
- Start choosing to see the good in you.
- Start recognizing and celebrating all the things you HAVE done. Because you have done a lot.
If you find yourself focusing more on what you haven’t accomplished and how far you have to go, versus what you have accomplished and how far you have come– try out these mental training tips from sport psychology to help train your brain:
Mental Training Tips
In sport: If you are overly focused on what’s NOT happening in your athletic life (i.e. not working out, not getting playing time, not performing well, etc.), answer this question: What is one thing you can start doing that would have a positive impact in the direction you want to go? And then answer: When will you take action on that one thing? Confidence comes from taking action and the only person that can make the change a priority is YOU (Also check out the tip below because that would be good for you too!)
At work: If you are having a tough time at work and not feeling accomplished, or feeling “less than”, this is a good mental training tip for you. Write out two bulleted lists: a list of your strengths, and a list of your accomplishments. If you get stuck, ask your family, friends, and/or co-workers what they see as your strengths and accomplishments. You can regroup and boost your confidence by reminding yourself of your wins.
For life: If you have a tendency to hold yourself to a very high standard, are harder on yourself than anyone else, and feel like you’re never measuring up: this one is for you. Write out a list of all the things you ARE doing and HAVE done. Chances are you just need to cut yourself some slack. YOU are doing great. YOU are enough. Write your list and then go do something deliberately nice for yourself to recognize how awesome you are and celebrate all your efforts on that list.
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