Oops ... I did it again.

Oops … I did it again.

Self-sabotage. It’s all too common – and most of the time – you don’t even realize you’re doing it. So why do you do it? Are YOU the only person keeping you from accomplishing your goals? Why do we end up sabotaging our goals and how the hell can we just get out of our own way?

Our limiting beliefs are like a self-imposed ceiling … you rise up only to bump into the ceiling and get sent back down. You set a big goal and start to go after it and those (often hidden) limiting beliefs push you right back down as if to say:

 

“I don’t think so … that upper level is not accessible to you … VIP guests only.”

 

Usually you don’t see the ceiling so you can’t understand why you keep getting pushed back down. But it’s you – getting in your own way with your limiting beliefs. You might be saying to yourself, “Yeah … but I WANT this. I want to accomplish this goal. I don’t want to bump into the ceiling anymore!”

The status-quo is in our comfort zone. You’re not sure what’s on that next floor.

“What if I don’t like it? What if I don’t fit in? What if they find out I’m an impostor and I wasn’t really invited?”

That’s the thing … you’re waiting for some green light, a sign that says you’re ready, an invitation that will never come because the invitation has to come from YOU.

 

One of the biggest red flags letting you know that you might be entering the self-sabotage zone is if you find yourself saying things like:

“Yeah, but …”

or

“It’s not really that big a deal …”

 

You self-sabotage by not believing in yourself or by telling yourself it’s not that important.

First you have to recognize that you’re doing this and then you have to be willing to stop. It might sound simple, but sometimes it can prove to be incredibly challenging to push through that ceiling with your all-access pass to any floor you damn-well please! Here are two tips for finding your all-access pass and preventing self-sabotage:

 

1. You need to find your “why”

And not just the 1st why … the surface why … but the REAL why. The why that’s at your core.

Grab a piece of paper.

Think about a goal you are working towards and at the top of your paper write down your goal. Underneath your goal, write out in one or two sentences why that goal is important. That’s your “Why #1” … the “why” that’s above the surface. Underneath “Why #1” write down why your “Why #1” is important.

 

Goal:
Why is that important? (Why #1)
Why is THAT important? (Why #2)

 

Here’s an example:

I injured my shoulder a few months back and ended up derailing myself from all of my strength training. I’ve been trying to get my butt back to the gym and somehow can’t seem to get myself moving. As I was writing this post for you, I decided to figure out my “why” so I could provide you with an example:

See ... I really did write it out!

See … I really did write it out!

 

Goal:

Start strength training again

Why is that important? (Why #1)

I want to feel strong and stay healthy.

Why is THAT important? (Why #2)

Because I want to be able to use my body when I want to in order to enjoy doing what I love to do in life.

 

That’s your “Why #2”; and guess what … you’re going to ask yourself that same question 2 more times.

 

Why is THAT important? (Why #3)
And why is THAT important? (Why #4)

 

It might feel hard … you might get stuck … force yourself to keep going. Really sit with it until you get to that 4th why because that is the why deep underneath the surface at your very core. Here’s what the rest of mine looked like:

Why is that important? (Why #3)

Because I am here to live and experience all that life has to offer and I want to do it with a sound body and mind.

Why is that important? (Why #4)

Because I want to know that I lived my life and didn’t just let life happen.

Like this!

Post it up like this!

Whoa. Even I was surprised. That #4 why is the real why. When you think to yourself “I don’t know if I can do it today” and you’re trying to find your motivation, connecting to your why can be a powerful reminder of what’s really important to you and helps you make a decision from that place. My decision about strength training today isn’t only about wanting to be strong and healthy, it’s about really being able to live while I’m alive. You can even post it up as a visual reminder of what you really want.

2. You need have the ability to visualize what you want

This means you need to have both the vision and the courage to say what you really want and then be able to actually see it in your mind. If you can’t see it in your mind, you won’t be able to see it in your life. This isn’t about magically manifesting a winning lottery ticket by simply seeing it clearly in your mind (if only!). This is about allowing yourself to see that something is possible (and battle those limiting beliefs) so you can start to believe that it’s possible.

Those limiting beliefs create filters so we only see what we expect to see. For the next 10 days (yes 10 days!) spend five minutes every day visualizing something you want to accomplish. Set an alarm to remind you. Don’t worry if you can’t see it very clearly at first. Just keep doing it and you’ll be amazed at what you can see by day 10.

 

It’s time to see what’s on that next floor. You have your all-access pass. Are you going to pull it out and use it?

 

Don’t let limiting beliefs hold you back. Join the Rebound Membership and get the tools and support you need to overcome challenges, build your confidence, and achieve your goals.